There is a ferociousness in my heart; a strong desire to chase evil, to vanquish the enemy of my soul! Take up your arms, you soldiers of the living King! Fight for Truth, Justice, the Name of Jesus Christ! Peace? There is no peace in this world, just a battle. I have peace in my heart that the battle is already won by Jesus Christ the Messiah, but around me peace is nothingness. The war rages without, within; it's a constant battle, a daily struggle. My light, my hope, is in the Name of Jesus Christ. He is victorious against the dark. Always.
And now quiet. He tells me to stop fighting, because I open my eyes and see I'm struggling against Him, the Lover of my soul. The peace within has become a distant light, a thing I ache for but cannot touch. Suffocation, then a setting free. Is it by my own hands I gain freedom? No. My works, my works, it's always my works that earn me this and that. No. Nothing I do can remove God's love, and so nothing I do can earn more of what He already gives freely, without cost. Unfathomable.
I'm in a field. The gentle breeze washes over the tall grass, and a million white daisies wave their hello at me. Peace, at last. Beauty. Jesus Christ has conquered death and sin and every being that is against me. I am His beloved, and He has taken care of me, allowing me to see Beauty through the darkness. Sweet, sweet Love. His love is too big for me, but I will accept all that I can. The weight has lifted, the darkness is no more, for Jesus Christ my Redeemer is here.
